The Wisconsin Crazy: Dog Tazers Cops

The story provides precious little in actual details, so I think my headline falls just short of yellow journalism. After a man had finished his meal at McDonald's with his sleeping service dog the manager summoned police who then used pepper spray and a tazer on the seizure prone man.

I hope they didn't use the particular type of pepper spray that catches fire when combined with a tazer.

Again the article offers little in the way of details, we can only hope someone took a cell phone video so we can know more about the altercation. And can corroborate the story the cops gave. I am sure it is just as reasonable as all the other stories of the police using force on a disabled person.

The Icy Cold Hand of Evolution is Reaching For You

It's Darwin's 200th birthday and that is as good an excuse as any to engage in soap-boxery. Atheists are using this day to publicly make a spectacle. Though when it comes to making an ass of yourself in front of the media the Freedom From Religion Foundation just doesn't have the flair of PETA. If only there was some way to combine public nudity with atheism. We need to see some hot atheist ass. I am publicly calling for an "Emperor has no clothes" parade in Madison, WI. It will start at the capitol and end in my "evolution research lab."

I discussed previously that the public debate over Evolution does not actually regard any scientific discussion. The Christian zealots are using this as a way of publicly challenging the faith of other Christians out there basically saying you will go to hell if you believe in science. Using the fear they have used since the beginning for recruiting. Even the British cling to religious posturing in their ignorance rather than trust the people who dedicate their lives to careful study of the natural world. Which is exactly what this is about. Making highly educated people who have dedicated their lives to rigorous study into purveyors of a competing ideology. Reducing science to mere faith and turning scientists into servants of the devil. Christians know well how to turn mundane decisions into matters of eternal moral significance and normal people into sinners and the enemy. Creationism is an ideology of ignorance and hate.

The Wisconsin Crazy Goes Peaceably

After a long and, at times, crazy winter here in Wisconsin, it is good to see that, although people are losing their cool, there are times when the violent anti-government radicals can come to terms with authorities, even after exchanging gunfire and distinctly unfriendly tear gas. Way to go!

The Wisconsin Crazy

In a slight change of pace, the latest Wisconsin Crazy is someone who is relatively well-known. Governor Doyle, after losing support of Democrats in the Wisconsin legislature now expects to pass his economic development proposal despite a $650 million budget shortfall. If municipal bonds were a good investment, this would still be an ill-advised strategy, but with the growing financial crisis and the growing inability for municipal organizations to find financing, this budget can only be described as crazy.

The Wisconsin Crazy

This is a unique type of crazy, the type that chooses to antagonize authority figures. I think the worst part of the whole tragedy is that he seems at least marginally more competent than our intelligence services.

The Wisconsin Crazy

Its been awhile since we have had a Wisconsin crazy story. This one is about a crazy cat lady that was actually an old man. Apparently he takes in one or two strays and they breed in his house and every couple of years the local animal shelter comes and takes the cats away. My favorite quote, "We were happy to get 26," she said. "We thought it was going to be closer to 40."

Let Me Just Hug My KidzzzZZZZ

This story comes to you from the frozen north of Wisconsin. The names have been changed to protect us from liability.

Maude and Harold(married to each other) were drinking and Maude went to bed. Later, Harold wanted to know where the limes were and woke up Maude to ask her. Maude, being mentally unstable, freaked the fuck out, attacked Harold, ran screaming from the room and summoned the police. We all know from watching "Cops" that when the police respond to a domestic disturbance, they don't leave without one of the parties in handcuffs, and its usually the shirtless one. When they arrived, the police naturally inquired as to what has happened here, seeing a frantic woman, and a man with a ripped shirt, who also happens to have a criminal record. (but who doesn't?) Maude attempts to recount her half-drempt assault to the police and manages to fill an entire page of a written statement with the sentence; "I think he was choking me." The police dutifily begin slapping the cuffs on Harold as he attempted to deny the allegations. At which time the children of the couple begin to wake up and ask why the police are taking daddy away again, because mama was the one being scary. Harold asks the police if he can say "good by" to his kids and for some reason they allow it. Harold, who has recently had back surgery, lurched around the corner out of sight. Here is where the four peace officers spring into action. The other residents of the household heard, "3...2...1...AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" as the police deploy tazers on Harold. In his electricly induced spasam, Harold reached out and grasped one of the officers, effectively transfering the 50,000 volts of electricty to the officer. This is commonly referred to as, "spreading the love." He is now charged with resisting arrest since there are no witnesses who will agree there was an assault and Maude can no longer recall her drunken hallucination.

The Wisconsin Crazy

This guy doesn't just have sex with animals. He doesn't just have sex with dead animals. He kills the animals in order to have sex with them. I am suprised that this has been enough of a problem that the Wisconsin legislature has had to make a law prohibiting the killing of animals with the intention of having sex with them.

The Wisconsin Crazy

$20 dollars? Is that much crack really worth the nine plus years that he could face in prison?

Son Of A Fuckin Bitch!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17774493

So Sheraton picked their new chief executive of beer and somehow my application got overlooked. Some pencil neck whos probably never even had a beer in his life decides to give the job to some big shot brewery owner from Arizona who "decorates" his house with beer bottles. Ya, I got beer bottles all over my house too but I didn't know you were supposed to put that on the application. Usually people dont want to discuss things that attract ants to your home but I guess in Arizona, its the only thing that takes your mind off the heat.

And for that matter, Fucking Arizona? Who the hell in Arizona nows shit about beer? Tell me that. I am from Wisconsin and we can drink any state or country under the table. Seriously, Wisconsin has the only university that I am aware of that for your freshman year botony class project you brew beer. I, myself, am the product of briliant genetic manipulation. They crossed my genes with that of robust hops and barley. I'm constantly drunk off my own blood, and I tell you, it makes driving difficult. But hey, theres amature drinkers and then there's professionals.

They don't even have water in Arizona. How the fuck are you gonna brew any beer when you are rollin around in the sand and makin your houses out of mud? He must be cheatin and puttin in some of that cactus juice that fucks you up and calls it water. I'm on to you now you smug bastard.

He fucking drugged the commity. Thats the only possible explination. And after I gave that fuckin guy a reach-around in the bathroom. I used my Larry Craig special and everything. He fuckin promised me I would get the job. See if I ever call him again.

The Wisconsin Crazy

The last name of the accused is Whitelightning. Appropriate for someone who might lead police on a carchase. He alledgedly walked into the OP, swiped some sausages, jumped into the Krispy Kreme delivery truck and sped off. He is also accused of being drunk at the time. I just would love to have seen a doughnut truck whiz past followed by police cars, sireins blaring. Its the kind of thing that makes life worth living.

http://www.channel3000.com/news/14742655/detail.html

Wisconsin Crazy: At Least He Didn't Shoot the Kid

In a case that tests our typical definition of the Wisconsin Crazy, a poor hunter who couldn't get a beer got a little heated and used his personal firearm to shoot his farm animal on his own property. As of publication, it is unclear whether or not the goat made a good stew. This article also serves as further evidence as to why Fark needs a Wisconsin tag.

(Red Herring: Fuck tha Police!, that's what she said.)

Trifecta of trifectas is now in play!

Another case of tasing, the walk of shame, and the Wisconsin Crazy! This just goes to show that it doesn't pay to be a janitor at the wrong place at the wrong time. How long will it be until we have a trifecta of trifectas?

Trifecta

The walk of shame, the Wisconsin crazy, and a tazing all in one marvelous story.
A Madison, Wisconsin police officer accidently discharged a tazer and tazed him or herself.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071113/ap_on_fe_st/odd_taser_accident_4

The Wisconsin Crazy

Its been awhile since there was a Wisconsin crazy posting. This edition of the crazy comes to us from Green Bay where a man was on a crime spree of stealing snow plows. Bonus; he also was tazed.

http://www.lacrossetribune.com/articles/2007/10/28/wi/02wi1028.txt

The Wisconsin Crazy, Oct 21

There are many types of crazies in Wisconsin, roughly raging from the overly zealous millenarian Christian to the armed, violent drug addict. However, on some special occasions, the Crazy takes the form of someone in a position of importance, just remember what McCarthy, another native son, did during his illustrious political career. Agitator, soothsayer, or just another crazy person that isn't begging, I'll leave that for you to decide. Today's crazy is 31 year old Tom Nelson, Democrat, and State Representative from the very Republican 5th district, just west of Green Bay. Rep. Nelson has lost patience for his colleagues in the state legislature and is holding what is, sadly only a one man, live-in protest in the state capitol building. There are rumors that there is a state budget ready to be voted on, a compromise between Gov. Doyle's higher taxes and State Assembly Republicans' reactionary fiscal conservatism. I would have to agree that Rep. Nelson that the budget fight isn't over until the votes are tallied.

Wisconsin Crazy, Oct 7 More

So, apparently the shooter in Crandon is even crazier than initially expected, or perhaps stupid. I'm not sure what one calls it when you need three shots to shoot yourself in the head.

The Wisconsin crazy continued...

I always question the motives of any person who becomes a law enforcement officer. It seems counterintuitive to me that a person would feel the calling to serve their community while at the same time thinking violence is the best way to to do it. I think a law enforcement career tends to attract certain kinds of people: people who are morally lazy and need a set of clearly defined rules of right and wrong, people who want to break the law and get away with it. We all have anectodal evidence of a police officer using their lights to run a red light, or have see a police cruser drive recklesly in traffic just to get to the head of the pack, or know of an incident where someone was struck by a police car, where the cop was at fault and the victem was ticketed. There are of course other incidents of police using their job as a camoflage for drug dealing or acting as a black market fence.

I am not saying all cops are crooks, I am just saying there is ample evidence to be suspicious of the motives of a cop when they act.

I also want to be clear that I am friends with several law enforcement officers, mostly sheriffs deputies, and they make it clear that the job itself changes you and your perception of the world. When you deal with the underbelly of society all day every day it can lead to some preconseptions. Most of which are probably helpfull in the course of the job and make sure the cop lives through his shift.

http://www.620wtmj.com/news/local/10299757.html

Wisconsin Crazy, Oct 7

Apparently, the crazies are trying to kick it up a notch by forcing an entire small town into "lockdown." As usual, the shooter is described as the nicest guy.

Wisconsin Crazy of 27 Sept, follow-up

Good news for those freshmen who live on the west end of the University of Wisconsin-Madison's campus, Jeremy Miller, who made news earlier this week, was arrested without incident by military police in San Diego. Apparently, the criminal mastermind who shut down half the campus and disrupted the lives of many, was caught when he tried to use his brother's military ID to get some medical attention. I would hate to see what this guy would do to the MPD if he were actually in the city.