Let Me Just Hug My KidzzzZZZZ

This story comes to you from the frozen north of Wisconsin. The names have been changed to protect us from liability.

Maude and Harold(married to each other) were drinking and Maude went to bed. Later, Harold wanted to know where the limes were and woke up Maude to ask her. Maude, being mentally unstable, freaked the fuck out, attacked Harold, ran screaming from the room and summoned the police. We all know from watching "Cops" that when the police respond to a domestic disturbance, they don't leave without one of the parties in handcuffs, and its usually the shirtless one. When they arrived, the police naturally inquired as to what has happened here, seeing a frantic woman, and a man with a ripped shirt, who also happens to have a criminal record. (but who doesn't?) Maude attempts to recount her half-drempt assault to the police and manages to fill an entire page of a written statement with the sentence; "I think he was choking me." The police dutifily begin slapping the cuffs on Harold as he attempted to deny the allegations. At which time the children of the couple begin to wake up and ask why the police are taking daddy away again, because mama was the one being scary. Harold asks the police if he can say "good by" to his kids and for some reason they allow it. Harold, who has recently had back surgery, lurched around the corner out of sight. Here is where the four peace officers spring into action. The other residents of the household heard, "3...2...1...AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" as the police deploy tazers on Harold. In his electricly induced spasam, Harold reached out and grasped one of the officers, effectively transfering the 50,000 volts of electricty to the officer. This is commonly referred to as, "spreading the love." He is now charged with resisting arrest since there are no witnesses who will agree there was an assault and Maude can no longer recall her drunken hallucination.