The Friday Bacon: Bacon Rage

I have a friend that has Bacon Rage.
All night diners like Denny's, Perkins, and Bob Evans are the kind of place that suburban teenagers begin to flex their growing independence by staying out late and paying for their own food and hanging out with their friends. (they serve breakfast all day long!) During this adolescent period my friend, with some others, went to one of these restaurants and ordered some breakfast combo. It did not come with bacon. Like most sane people my friend wanted some bacon so he ordered a side of bacon.

The bacon came on a separate plate. There were two pieces. Two overcooked pieces. Two small overcooked pieces of bacon on a separate plate. Sitting there, alone. Stark in their presentation and insignificance. This alone is an insult to the god of bacon if there was such a thing. Surely anyone craving bacon would only have their appetite increased rather than satisfied by this paltry offering. He ate the bacon and by all accounts it was a pleasant meal.

Then the bill came.

$6.00. The cost of the paltry serving of bacon was six fucking dollars. And this was in 1995, before people would mortgage their house to buy a TV. Some words were exchanged and things escalated. By the end of the night half of the town was engulfed in flames. If you think that is a bit extreme, you must not like bacon. Or justice. What's wrong with you?