Yesterday during a presentation before the New York Port Authority, Ben Bernanke demonstrated his telepathic and psycho-economic skills to cause the stock market to rally briefly. It is unclear whether he used his powers of econotelepathy to manipulate the minds of JP Morgan execs to get them to pay a higher price for Bear Stearns, or if he caused traders in the black pits of Wall Street to interpret the offering favorably. Or if he simply moved the markets directly with his voodoo economics. When asked why the initial rally did not continue and keep the gains throughout the day, Bernanke replied with exhaustion, "I couldn't hold it."
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